metasonix kv-100 price : $999.00

the metasonix kv-100 is not called the "assblaster" for nothing. we've taken all of our knowledge of extreme vacuum-tube audio processing and combined it into a single convenient, easy-to-use package. inevitably, the end of the tm series will cause shit-eating, ass-fisting guitar players to whine about how "underappreciated" they are. so, we're feeding them a foot-long fecal sandwich of audio penis.

it's complete with disgusting and juvenile cartoon art by dave lovelace, of retarded animal babies fame.

the kv-100 contains the following:
- five goddamn real new-old-stock vacuum tubes.
- the basic preamp stage of our tm-7 scrotum smasher, driving:
- the waveshaping (pulser) and ring modulation functions of our tm-1, minus the ring-modulator carrier oscillator, which then drives;
- a vco derived from our tm-3 (it is not intended for use as a synthesizer pitch source, only as a special effect for signal degradation), leading to;
- an all-new wide-sweeping bandpass filter, with envelope filter function plus wah capability (external pedal);
- plus an envelope follower, which also makes a gate signal;
- and a noise gate on the output, which is always active and is driven by said gate signal.

plus relay-based true bypass for the main circuit, plus relay controlled activation of the vco and pulser. controllable with manual switches or external fender-type amp footswitches.

plus plenty of processing inputs and outputs for control voltages. no midi, dammit.

only 8 knobs allow for vast ranges of distortion and effects, from subtle to flaming-enema. it's for those filthy, nutsack-sucking guitarists. because they deserve, and love, flaming enemas.

yes, you can plug your damn guitar into it, yes, you can plug line-level sources into it. yes you can run the output to a guitar amp or any mixer. yes, all the inputs and outputs are compatible with modular synthesizers.

no, it's not sorta-kinda-like a line 6 anything. no, it's not a tube-man version of a digi-tech or boss any-damn-thing. no, for the ten-millionth time, it won't make you play like steve vai, ass-sucker. i'm getting really sick of feeding sarcasm to the geeks who own 40 bootleg korn albums and read guitar world with their lips moving. (they say things like "dude, i bought them off a guy in the public toilet, he said they wuz real!") there's so many of them, and they are so brainless, i could type anything here and they'd never know or understand. one would think that after our tx-1 agonizer, tx-2 butt probe, and tm-7 scrotum smasher, they would know better than to ask stupid questions. feel free to gnaw the crust off my taint, tiny worm guitar dude. jeff beck is dead, and you're a fairy boy wearing pink satin panties and a matching bra. your mother's penis is bigger than yours. and your father is a duckbill platypus. have a nice day, scroad.

specifications: audio input accepts unbalanced guitar, microphone or line signals. output 600 ohms unbalanced. 1/4" jacks for all i/o. extra inputs: carrier audio input for ring modulator, cv inputs for vco pitch and filter sweep. extra outputs: envelope cv out, vco waveform out, pulser waveform out. frequency response: yes. distortion: yee-haw. filter sweep range: <100hz to >12 khz. enclosed in rugged, moisture-resistant abs utility box with hinged lid, carrying handle and latch. size with lid closed 12.25"x7.4"x6.5" (314mmx186mmx168mm), weight (minus ac adapter) approx 2 lbs (1.4 kg). power: 12 volts ac, 50/60 hz, 1.5 amps. uses jameco 167151 ac adapter for power in 120v countries. power inlet: 2.1mm coaxial jack.

demos:
here are some audio demos using the prototype, courtesy of the wretch:
kv-100 mangling sh-101
kv-100 mangling machinedrum
kv-100 mangling guitar

please click here to visit the manufacturer's webpage for more info.